7 May 2020
Diary of a Corbynista
World’s Best Covid-19 PR
by Don Urquhart
30 April
The Downing Street Press Briefing was graced by the A team of Johnson, Vallance and Witty. Johnson told us how well everything was going. Vallance took us through the slides, omitting the one that tells us how much we are bravely reducing our travelling. Perhaps it would have reflected the anecdotal evidence that the heroic British public is starting to drive around pretty much as before Covid.
The biggest scandal of the moment is the neglect of staff and residents of care homes forced to operate with inadequate testing and PPE. And yet it was 42 minutes into the briefing that the term “care home” was first uttered thanks to a question from Buzzfeed about the neglect these institutions were suffering. The A team ignored the question and the issue was not mentioned again.
1 May
Here are the answers to last week’s Anti-Corbyn Quiz:
- He didn’t command respect, and he therefore wasn’t able to command that collectivism in the Labour party.
Angela Rayner MP
- A fucking anti-Semite and a racist;
Dame Margaret Hodge MP
- Would knife Jeremy Corbyn “in the front, not the back”
Jess Philips MP
- Accused Corbyn of a “flat-footed and lackadaisical attitude” to tackling anti-Semitism which is “simply unacceptable”.
Wes Streeting MP
- In Jeremy we have a man without honour and without shame – and a type of preening narcissism that means he thinks he’s still got something left to offer our Labour movement.
Mary Creagh – former MP
- I’m helping colleagues, banging on about the NHS for them but it’s awful for them, and it’s the combination of Corbyn and Brexit… outside of the city seats…it’s abysmal out there…they can’t stand Corbyn and they think Labour’s blocked Brexit.”
Jonathan Ashworth MP
- Did not believe Corbyn was the right person to lead the Labour Party into the next election.
Thanggam Debonaire MP
- Claimed Mr Corbyn was “not able to lead” the party. He then refused to rejoin the front-bench team until a set of demands were met.
Ian Murray MP
- Everyone knew that he couldn’t lead the working class out of a paper bag.
Alan Johnson – former Labour Minister
- If he becomes Prime Minister of this Country I am out.
Lord Sugar – don’t know what he is. Why did I include him?
2 May
Corbynistas do not waste many tears on the fate of businessmen. Let’s face it most of them are Tories. But at the end of the day we have all been stuffed by this virus.
A local publican has switched to delivering meals. He can’t be making much; he’s keeping people employed and the grub is excellent – also he sends beer. So we are keen to support him.
A friend runs an up and coming consultancy which relies on sending people to help companies. In normal times the business flow is OK in a highly competitive market. He has to juggle substantial fixed costs against the risk of taking a bank loan which might expose his firm to the historical chicanery employed by our blue chip banks to undervalue companies and share in the ensuing fire sale.
3 May
At the bottom of the BBC News screen, the “Breaking News” section alternates between the Coronavirus death figures, how Stanley Johnson feels about the arrival of a new grandson, and the Christian names assigned to the latter.
To summarise where we are at – there’s bad news and good news:
The United Kingdom has the worst record in Europe for Coronavirus deaths.
The UK Government has the best PR operation and most compliant media in Europe so if you are still alive at the end of it all you will think we are world leaders in dealing with pandemics.
4 May
This week’s quiz asks you to assign views on the Israel / Palestine situation to their sources. Here are the quotes:
1. There should be two independent and sovereign states: a secure Israel, the homeland for the Jewish people, standing alongside a viable and contiguous Palestinian state, the homeland for the Palestinian people, as envisaged by UN General Assembly Resolution.
2. There has to be a peace process, and there has to be a right of the Palestinian people to live in peace, as well as the right of Israel to exist.
3. For as long as the blockade of Gaza and the illegal occupation continues, while Britain continues to sell arms to Israel, as Palestinian refugees continue to be denied their rights and while the lives of children remain under threat, we will strive harder.
4. The only solution is two states – a secure state of Israel and a viable Palestine.
5. Immediately suspend the sale of arms to Israel for use in violation of the human rights of Palestinian civilians.
6. We remain committed to a comprehensive two-state solution – a secure Israel alongside a viable and independent state of Palestine.
7. We shall maintain our support for a two-state solution.
8. You’re all doing very well.
And here are the sources:
Jeremy Corbyn 2018
Tony Blair 2016
Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary in 2017
Lisa Nandy 2018
Sir Keir Starmer 2020
Conservative Manifesto 2019
Labour Manifesto 2015
Labour Manifesto 2019
Answers next week.
5 May
In today’s Health and Social Care Committee, Labour MP Sarah Owen asked Sir Patrick Vallance whether SAGE’s advice had been unanimous about herd immunity and the timing of lockdown. In his response he clarified that the SAGE scientists did not agree about everything and at any event their role was to inform the politicians not to lead them.
I’ve lost count of the number of Downing Street Press Briefing Bingo (DSPBB) points I could have earned with the term “science-led”.
6 May
A Torquay hotel owner has expressed an ambition to see his wife Sybil on Mastermind:
But she could find herself up against stiff opposition. Dr Angela McLean was last night’s scientific drawer of the short straw in the Downing Street Press Briefing. She took us through the slides.
Her analysis of deaths by location:
We’ve got to try and get a better handle on what’s going on in the care homes.
Lewis Goodall’s response on Newsnight :
I think we can save them the trouble to some extent as we’ve been reporting on it for the last seven weeks.
Dr McLean, like so many of the scientific advisers, might have sat at Sybil’s feet in Problem Diagnosis tutorials.
Here’s the professor’s take on the slide analysing deaths by country:
What you see is that deaths in the UK is still continuing to climb and is er…higher than we would wish I think is all I can say.
