18 June 2015

How to be a Good Housewife/Househusband

by Lynda Goetz

 

It is distinctly unfashionable these days to be a housewife, but if you do find yourself in this role, you will surely wish to do it to the best of your ability. Here are 10 simple pointers.

 

1 Make breakfast for your family.

It is clearly important for all those who are doing a real day’s work to start the day on the right foot (especially now we all know how important feet are to the evolution of us humans – see ‘Adventures in Human Being’ by Gavin Francis)

2 Pick up all those dirty socks and other garments strewn over the bedroom floors.

It is not that it is hard to put them into the wash bins you have provided in the bedrooms and bathrooms, just that it is so much easier for someone else to deal with such menial tasks and as you are the one without a proper job, you are clearly the one who has the time to deal with this sort of thing.

3 Make sure the fridge and freezer are stocked with their favourite foods.

It is so frustrating for your kids/other half to raid the fridge only to find it is full of natural yogurt and low-fat cottage cheese when they had in mind a bacon and avocado baguette followed by a large bowl of Ben and Jerry’s with half a packet of raspberries. Of course if there were raspberries, the fact that you had planned to use them to top the pudding you were making for the charity lunch the following day should not be a cause for friction of any sort.

4 Do hang out the washing rather than tumble dry it if you can.

The fact that it takes 10 times as long should not be a problem. After all, you do have all day. It does smell so much fresher.

5 Don’t forget to post that gift to the friend in Canada.

Well, it may not be wrapped, but there wasn’t any brown paper or a Jiffy Bag and it won’t take you very long to pop down to the Post Office and get it sorted. It shouldn’t cost too much.

6 Remember to look up those online forms and get them filled in and sent off.

They have to be in by tomorrow so unless you do them today you will miss the deadline.

7 Telephone the DVLA/Student finance/service supplier/local authority about those online forms you couldn’t deal with yesterday because the pages kept crashing.

This is another of those silly little jobs which have to be done during office hours, but which of course no-one else has the time to do because they are so busy. It shouldn’t take you more than a couple of hours – if you are lucky.

8 Take the dog to the vet.

Walking the household pet every day is obviously your job, but every so often there is the additional problem of making sure the animal’s vaccinations are up to date or checking that those rings of bites around everyone’s ankles don’t mean it has fleas – it usually does, of course.

9 Do a proper job of vacuuming the carpets.

This goes without saying; otherwise you will end up with infestations of carpet moths, fleas or worse. It is so easy and quick nowadays with the wonderful vacuum cleaners you see advertised on those spotless white floors in the TV ads. It is a positive pleasure to do – just a pleasure that no-one else in the family wishes to share.

10 Welcome them all home with a smile and a delicious meal.

After all, they have been working all day.