Issue 13: 2015 07 30 This Could Never Happen

30 July 2015

This could never happen

by Neil Tidmarsh

Imagine a powerful armed force has invaded Ireland (let’s call them ICIC – a European movement akin to the KKK).  They’ve swept Eire’s military aside and are heading north, towards the UK.  All that’s holding them back are irregular bands of a hastily re-formed IRA, which are managing to defend and hold on to a strip of territory along the Republic’s side of the frontier with Northern Ireland.

Now, if you were the British government, what would you do?  Bearing in mind that ICIC – in their white sheets and pointy white hoods – has already conquered great swathes of continental Europe, has transformed itself into a mighty and ruthless military force with a big army fed by a constant stream of fanatical volunteers from all over the world, is well-organised and extremely well-funded from assets seized, banks plundered and art-treasures looted in the conquered territories.  And bearing in mind that its aim is to unite the whole of Christendom into a single political entity by conquering its constituent states, including your own.  And bearing in mind that your allies – the USA and NATO – are screaming at you to do something to help them stop ICIC before it’s too late.

Do you:

a) Shrug your shoulders and refuse to do anything. You’re secretly delighted that those bastards in the IRA are having a hard time, even though there’s been peace between you and them since a successful cease-fire was negotiated some years ago. But you’re also worried that they’re now holding territory of their own – perhaps they’ll try to expand that territory to your side of the border?  Perhaps some of your people are even suggesting you should secretly encourage – or at least not discourage – elements within the UK who might be sympathetic to ICIC.  After all, ICIC are Protestant, and so are we, so perhaps we have more in common with them than with the Catholic IRA.  And ICIC are giving our traditional enemies the French and the Germans a drubbing – hurrah!

Not sensible.  Short-sighted, narrow-minded, cynical, amoral, almost suicidal.

b) Seize the initiative by hitting ICIC before they breach your defences (your army is one of the biggest and most effective in the region, after all) and by supporting your allies (allowing them to fly missions from your airfields, sharing intelligence, pooling resources, launching joint operations). You don’t have to aid the IRA, but they are defending your border for you and they have been at peace with you for years, a good peace which you don’t want to jeopardize. So perhaps you should show some gratitude and offer some practical assistance.  But by taking direct action against ICIC you do of course seize the initiative from the IRA anyway, take some of the wind out of their sails.  Another strategic aim accomplished.

Very sensible.

What’s that?  What are you saying?  You’re going for option (a)?  Are you sure?  But don’t you realise that ICIC are by far the biggest threat?  Don’t you realise that it’s only a matter of time before they shed your blood, either in warfare on the front line or in terror attacks in your heartland?  And the IRA – do you really want to antagonise them?  Do you really want a return to the Troubles of the 1970’s and 1980’s?  Nevertheless, you insist on option (a)?  Really?  Very well.

Did you hear that?  A terrible explosion.  There’s been a bomb, a suicide attack by ICIC, in Belfast.  On a party of Catholic aid workers, about to cross the border into the Republic on a humanitarian mission.  Scores dead, hundreds injured.  UK citizens, your own citizens.  I told you.  And now many of your citizens in Northern Ireland are going to blame you for it, for tolerating and even (they say) favouring ICIC, for not helping the IRA hold back ICIC.  They’re very angry.  There’ll be protests and violence and maybe even kidnappings and murders, a return to the bad old days of Northern Ireland’s Troubles if you don’t do something about it.

So what are you going to do about it?  Revert to plan (b), you say?  Good.  Stand shoulder to shoulder with your allies, join the war against ICIC, weed out ICIC cells in your own territory.  Very good.  Yes, I can see your bombers flying south to give ICIC a pounding.

And reach out to the IRA, reopen talks with them, reassure them, rebuild the cease-fire, restore the peace.  No?  You won’t?  You’re going to bomb them too, send air-strikes against their bases south of the border?  But aren’t we all on the same side now?  Aren’t we allies in the same war?  Do you want to double your enemies, to double the terror threat to the UK?  Surely you don’t want a civil war against the IRA as well as a war against ICIC?  But a second wave of bombers has already taken off, they’re already hitting those IRA bases.

Brace yourself for what follows.  War and civil war.  New wounds opened and old wounds re-opened.  The birth of a new terror and the return of an old terror.

Of course, this could never happen.  No one would make your mistakes.  And ICIC doesn’t exist.

 

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